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Country Songs for People Who Hate This Country

by Where Is Your Dog Now?

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1.
Rachel Getting Buried 02:17
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You've had your wedding, now it's time to feast Your parents went home and so did the priest The moon is full and our bellies are empty Here's that tape that your brother lent me Suck your blood, down to the bone It's 1987 and we don't have cell phones Rachel getting burrrriieeeeeeedd Things are getting scary Hands are getting haaiirrrryyyyyy And I don't wanna stop just yet Out in the desert in the countryside There's nowhere to run and there's nowhere to hide Count your blessings as we count your steps Eating salad dressing off of burning flesh Pat that mound, cover your chest It's 1987 and we don't have Mapquest Rachel getting burrrriieeeeeeedd Things are getting scary Hands are getting haaiirrrryyyyyy And I don't wanna stop just yet Baby, I tried to warn you... but you invited me in and never questioned my lack of reflection or... why I disappear every month. I'm sorry, baby, but... I can't ccooONTROLL IT ANYMOROORRREEEE Rachel getting burrrriieeeeeeedd Things are getting scary Hands are getting haaiirrrryyyyyy And I don't wanna stop just yet Rachel getting burrrriieeeeeeedd Things are getting scary Hands are getting haaiirrrryyyyyy And I don't wanna stop just yet And I don't wanna stop just yet
2.
Coffee Table Crook 02:20
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You're a coffee table crook and I'm honored just to be by your side Now you really got me shook and I'm running for the trees to hi-ide It may be too late for me, but you run on ahead Take the gear and money and just leave me for dead I was not cut out for this, but you still have a chance Take this bracelet off my wrist and give it to my dad You're a coffee table crook and I'm honored just to be by your side Now you really got me shook and I'm running for the trees to hi-ide We met in a shady bar overlooking gray You still had an 80s car and I guess that's okay I thought I could handle this (walking by your side) But now I got my candle lit and I'm ready to die Don't pray for me I'll always be a part of you, wind through the trees Don't stop or slow, know where to go Your guiding light in the darkest night You're a coffee table crook and I'm honored just to be by your side Now you really got me shook and I'm running for the trees to hi-ide You're a coffee table crook and I'm honored just to be by your side Now you really got me shook and I'm running for the trees to hi-ide
3.
New York Intellectual 02:14
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I go down to Bartholomew's to borrow giant books I like to read until I'm blue, then I like to dance and cook I've lived in New York all my life every since I moved last year We only have red wine inside, go somewhere else for beer I'm just a New York intellectual trying to be effectual I got too much on my mind, did you even read the Times? I'm just a New York intellectual I go downtown to Mary Beth's and ask where we went wrong I can't believe I failed her test, so now I'm writing this song She says I'm pretentious and not as smart as I think I can quote the '19 census but I can't unclog a sink I'm just trying to live a life most ethical I throw my mask away in a receptacle My degree from Harvard keeps me warm at night But I still see your face when I turn out the light I'm just a New York intellectual trying to be effectual I got too much on my mind, did you even read the Times? I'm just a New York intellectual And you can't get better than me You can't get better than me You can't get better than me You can't get better than me
4.
Sally Takes the Train 02:54
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Sally takes the train back home and cries along the way Strangers try to comfort her but she says she's okay Through the night, and the day, pouring rain Sally sees her friends from school and they are still the same One works at his dad's law firm, the others play the game They get beers, she gets laid, can't complain I drive home but Sally takes the train, endangered I'm alone but Sally takes the train with strangers I go slow but Sally takes the train, it's safer Sally takes the train, I hate her Sally gets in bed and goes to sleep but doesn't dream Pressure fills her head and all she has to do is scream But she just snores, 'cause tonight she's the queen I drive home but Sally takes the train, endangered I'm alone but Sally takes the train with strangers I go slow but Sally takes the train, it's safer Sally takes the train, I hate her
5.
Restaurant Water 02:51
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Things have been getting weird I trimmed my hair but I grew my beard Where's the bathroom, I feel sickly They call me Cactus 'cause I'm so prickly Eating in a little tent, me and all my twenty friends Things are fine, so why me panic? Like I'm on a cliff in a hammock 'Cause that restaurant water's just a little bitter and my friend talks loud, I tell her she's a spitter The guy in the back is giving me looks and I watch TV instead of reading books Leaving now, vision blurred A plane, a man, it's just a bird Cars all stopping, "Are you okay?" I'm falling all over, get out of my way Eating in a little tent, me and all my twenty friends Things are fine, so why me panic? Like I'm on a cliff in a hammock 'Cause that restaurant water's just a little bitter and my friend talks loud, I tell her she's a spitter The guy in the back is giving me looks and I watch TV instead of reading books I'm back home, settle down Just me, myself, and a scary clown Please come over, I need help Near the restaurant, it's on Yelp 'Cause that restaurant water's just a little bitter and my friend talks loud, I tell her she's a spitter The guy in the back is giving me looks and I watch TV instead of reading books That restaurant water's just a little bitter and my friend talks loud, I tell her she's a spitter The guy in the back is giving me looks and I watch TV instead of reading books
6.
Steppin' Foot in Your Brain 02:35
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I'm steppin' foot in your brain, take a look And I'm really likin' what I'm seein' I'm rootin' around in your heart, pound for pound And it's so pure I just can't believe it Other people say that they are virtuous But when the time comes, they just run away If you open doors, then you are courteous So when I open yours I hope you stay I'm steppin' foot in your brain, take a look And I'm really likin' what I'm seein' I'm rootin' around in your heart, pound for pound And it's so pure I just can't believe it I'm just a boy from Texarkana You're just a girl from Albuquerq' I'd let you borrow my bandana, but I've heard it doesn't really work I didn't pass my science test or my anatomy And when I see you crying in bed, I hope that you're not mad at me I'm steppin' foot in your brain, take a look And I'm really likin' what I'm seein' I'm rootin' around in your heart, pound for pound And it's so pure I just can't believe it I can't believe it
7.
Summer Evening 02:38
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I went down on a summer evening to watch the sea I saw a man with a shotgun pleading, "Save my teeth" He pulled the trigger and his head got bigger Teeth sprinkled the sand I picked 'em up and I put 'em in my truck 'cause they didn't fit in my hand Drove around on a summer evening Looking for a place to go The sky was pink and my nose was bleeding Guess I'll die alone, die alone I went back on a summer evening to clear my mind They put tape where the man was bleeding 'cause it was a crime They took my word, all that I heard It was the truth They'll never know that after I went home, I cradled a tooth Drove down on a summer evening Looking for a place to go The sky was pink and my nose was bleeding Guess I'll die alone, die alone Die alone Die alone Die alone
8.
Making out with Medusa 02:50
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Making out with Medusa I wanna open my eyes Watching the new Dinesh D'Souza I wanna open my mind The sky is burning, the world keeps turning And I'm just yearning for truth The clouds are parting, my dog keeps farting We're on our way to Duluth Sleeping next to Medusa I gotta keep them shut Playing a song on a tuba And it sounds like butt Waiting up for Medusa She hears me groan I sneak a little peek now And I turn to stone The sky is burning, the world keeps turning And I'm just yearning for truth The clouds are parting, my dog keeps farting We're on our way to Duluth I'm fine being in the carbonite Life was getting pretty dull I like being all alone with my thoughts that ring inside of my skull Saying bye to Medusa And I'm going insane This ain't what I'm used to And I feel your pain The sky is burning, the world keeps turning And I'm just yearning for truth The clouds are parting, my dog keeps farting We're on our way to Duluth The sky is burning, the world keeps turning And I'm just yearning for truth The clouds are parting, my dog keeps farting We're on our way to Duluth
9.
Call Me If You're Crying 02:42
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Call me if you're crying And I'll make it all better I'll put on my sweater and drive in my Jetta Through the cold Call me if you're crying Teleparty a rom com It might feel like a swan song when I'm waving my pom poms Growing old Call me if your life don't make no sense Call me if you can't walk past the fence Call me if your days all blend to one Call me just for fun Call me if you're laughing 'Cause I wanna come laugh, too I did a bit of a snafu when I slipped in your bathroom Down and out Call me if you're laughing We'll laugh all together I'll take off my sweater, I parked my Jetta Safe and sound Call me if you just want to hang out Call me if you need some time to pout Call me if you're roaring like a lion Call me if you're crying Call me if you're crying Call me if you're CRYing
10.
Claire's Ween Playlist 02:11
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When we're listening to Claire's Ween Playlist, I think I'm in the clear I made it so accessible so she doesn't think I'm weird Claire's Ween Playlist when we're driving past the PetCo She likes "Stay Forever" and "The Goin' Gets Tough from the Getgo" And in exchange for her patient listening, When she's driving we put on Taylor Swift Or the 1975 when we're kissing And I gotta say, I'm starting to like it When we're listening to Claire's Ween Playlist, I think I'm in the clear I made it so accessible so she doesn't think I'm weird Claire's Ween Playlist when we're driving past the PetCo She likes "Stay Forever" and "The Goin' Gets Tough from the Getgo" And when the virus dies and Ween comes back to town, We'll get dressed up and head out to the show That might just make me debt swing back around 'Cause they play three hour sets three nights in a row And whatever Claire finds special, I will listen to We have different tastes, but that's okay Even if we hate each other's music, There's no one else I'd rather spend the day with When we're listening to Claire's Ween Playlist, I think I'm in the clear I made it so accessible so she doesn't think I'm weird Claire's Ween Playlist when we're driving past the PetCo She likes "Stay Forever" and "The Goin' Gets Tough from the Getgo"
11.
You Make Me Wanna 02:11
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You make me wanna clean my bathroom You make me wanna cut my hair You make me wanna wear those shirts that fit and Wash my underwear I've been living in a pigsty, but I wanna be a sheep I can hear all the cars rush by sleeping in after the beep You make me wanna clean my bathroom You make me wanna cut my hair You make me wanna wear those shirts that fit and Wash my underwear I can see it in the distance: the person I was meant to be Even though there is resistance, you believe in me I'm trudging through the mud, I'm walking in the desert I'm covered in my blood, it's staining all my leather I'm still so far away, but I am keeping steady Before you come to play, I better make my bed and get ready You make me wanna clean my bathroom You make me wanna cut my hair You make me wanna wear some shirts that fit and Wash my underwear Wash my underwear
12.
A Little Invested 02:39
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I am, by the way, a little invested in things far away When I'm feeling stressed I can't see straight I am, so you know, a little upset when you talk at the show Why can't you respect the theatre stage Tell me why I can't let go of your lies Tell me when I can see you again Tell me who I have to kill to get to you Tell me how, I'll kill 'em right now I am, FYI, a little depressed so please step aside I need some more rest, I've slept all day I am, yeah get this, a little too restless and now I am pissed You're now on my shit list, waste away Tell me why I can't let go of your lies Tell me when I can see you again Tell me who I have to kill to get to you Tell me how, I'll kill 'em right now
13.
Dying Bee 02:24
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I gave honey to a dying bee But he still went and died on me He crawled around on my balcony Then he went to the other side I stood alone in my tiny room Nowhere to go, nothing to do I grabbed a mop and I grabbed a broom 'Cause there was nowhere to hide That bee, that bee I guess it was his time Here's your eulogy I tried to make it rhyme I took a trip to the honey store I told 'em what I said to you before They just laughed, then they laughed some more So I just ran out crying I sat down on a patch of grass There was a bee and he stung my ass I grabbed the honey sitting next to my flask But he was already dying That bee, that bee I guess it was his time Here's your eulogy I tried to make it rhyme
14.
Lost Dog 03:40
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I could see your smile from the back of the room And I didn't understand why you left so soon I followed in your footsteps, but you were nowhere to be found I walked past the garden, didn't hear any sounds Feeling like a lost dog trying to get back home Sleeping in the dumpster and I'm all alone I went back inside, no one had a second thought They dragged me to the piano and they said, "Show us what you got!" I played your favorite song, there were no dry eyes around Then they asked me to play it again, but I just broke down Feeling like a lost dog trying to get back home Sleeping in the dumpster and I'm all alone Every night and every day I search those grounds where you went away People look at me all strange But I don't know how to change Feeling like a lost dog trying to get back home Sleeping in the dumpster and I'm all alone Feeling like a lost dog trying to get back home Sleeping in the dumpster and I'm all alone

about

I recorded 130 songs for this living off of unemployment and picked the best ones for the album. I hope you like it. I knew this was to be a sequel to Songs from the Second Wave, and I had lofty ambitions of it being bigger and better, a 20 song album. But when it came time to tracklist and put it together, the album much preferred being short and sweet. These songs required a lot more digging than usual and some of the ones that ended up on this album were very off the cuff, almost accidental. I knew it had to be called Country Songs for People Who Hate This Country long before I recorded it, and none of the songs are really country songs or even that political, especially compared to the last album. But I couldn't get rid of that title, and I couldn't think of anything else to call it, so here we are. I think the last album I was trying to make really fun and it ended up being dark, and this album I tried to make really dark and it's quite light and fun. Recording this album made me question how I was going about making these songs and some of the agonizing aspects of recording this really helped me change things up for what I'm working on now. I'm really proud of these songs and can't wait to play them for you one day.

credits

released November 12, 2021

Mastered by Todd Tobias
Everything else by Andrew Haworth
Thanks to Chris Newlin (Gage on Spotify, check him out!) for letting me record drums at Cheese Studios which I ended up not using because I'm simply not good at drumming

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Where Is Your Dog Now? Los Angeles, California

Where Is Your Dog Now? is an alt-rock music project by Andrew Haworth based in Los Angeles. He has recorded hundreds of songs since its inception. Each album is a “greatest hits” compilation of these songs, constructed in large part based on feedback given by his mother. Haworth experiments with a wide range of genres, but most of his songs end up sounding like power-pop, and that's okay. ... more

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